Monday, July 8, 2013

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

I have been observing the interaction of older and younger cyclists recently. There needs to be some basic social rules for the older cyclists. Really people. We need to get a grip and develop a little style.

Here are the two basic rules I propose:

Rule 1.  Never mentioned your age to any cyclist young enough to be your offspring. Age may be discussed only with your contemporaries. Telling a younger person your age sounds like old codger boasting (pitiful) or asking to be cut some slack (really pitiful).

Rule 2.  If asked how old you are by any cyclist young enough to be your offspring, respond with a crisp one liner. It doesn't have to be very clever. "A little younger than dirt," always works for me. Just say it with a big smile and move on.

Age is not a safe subject for social conversation. It's a mine field. Why venture there? Just remember that every younger cyclists wants, when they get to be our advanced age, to be riding around like us. Be content with that.

When I'm out with a group, it's pretty easy for them to figure out my general age. I've got the wrinkles, the age spots, and the sags that match their mom's or grand-mom's.

How old am I? A little younger than dirt. Do try to keep up.


  1. I'm so old that whenever age talk is going on they shift into whispers when I walk into the room. Because I have access to the Fountain of Youth I creep them out and they fear me. Wrinkles? Other people get wrinkles when I pass them on the road. Doing a wheelie. I'm so old that my mom is younger than me and still can't dance as fast. How old am I? God calls to ask for a little help with his electric bill. I learned how to act in public when I was twelve years old and have spent the rest of my life acting (out) ever since.

    Thank you very much.


  2. That came off a little cocky, didn't it? Sorry. Paleo seems to be boosting my testosterone. Either that or I'm losing my mind. Same thing.


  3. tj, you are one bad boy. And I always was a sucker for the bad boys...